sweet release

at this point in time i would spontaneously combust on my other blog, randomly shouting that: "Boys are STUPID!" when the problem is not the boy, so much as to the sheer quantity of my thoughts directed toward him; i despise whatever object absolutely consumes my thoughts, whether it's living or not. interestingly, i ever hunger to be thinking constantly about the Lord.

this, to me, demonstrates the supernatural condition enveloping a relationship with Him. it's mysterious and fascinating that - of all things - the thought of God doesn't frustrate me as it normally would, due to the unfortunate fact that i can't be with Him or prove His existence by anything outside of a final leap of trust. He has always been proven through true science, but humans can't believe in Him purely through all that is seen, and must depend on the faith He issues out to those He chooses. (according to the scripturally sound doctrine of predestination/election as displayed originally in God's initial choice to bestow blessings on Abraham's children [Deut 7]; New Testament instances are recorded everywhere, but my favorite is Ephesians 1:3-6)

i talked to my cousin again, and we decided that it would be best for me not to write to him or check my email until at least three weeks' time (i decided, and she's holding me accountable)

reasoning God and thinking about Him is perhaps the MOST peaceful thing i've done all day, and it puts my mind in a state of unbelievable rest to merely talk about Him and study the deep truths of the Bible. i wish i didn't have to sleep!