scarce

there are so many thoughts beating through my mind, i can barely think.
i am full of remorse and frustration at myself for not noticing how far i could stray from my precious God. i foolishly let persistent memories continually resurface and become a future in and of themselves, and willingly submitted my heart to those desires without giving a second thought. i told myself it wouldn't hurt, and i wouldn't be distracted from my walk, but i was wrong.

a song is rolling through the radio by pillar. it's called rewind, and i'm singing it to Jesus now.

it seems just like yesterday was the first time that i heard You call my name
since then so much has changed
i'm still the same man that i was before
knowing that i could be without anything scares me away from being alone
now that i know what's going on, i can look back and see You
i made You wait as i turned away

if i could rewind and watch all my life just pass me by
i could see You if i could rewind
i'd take back the lies and all of those times i hurt You
i don't know if i'll ever know exactly how much that i hurt You

knowing that hurts me every day

if i could rewind
i would take it away and not make You wait and i won't walk away

I wanna take back all those lies
I wanna take back all those times
I wanna show You with my life that I'm here for You

God doesn't need me, but i definitely need Him.